Bittersweet

Perhaps today I've seen reality- The ugly, demonic side of reality.
The deep, sinking sensation has, at last, found its way to me, to tell me mockingly that this is not a dream.
4 more days.
4 more days and it wld be sealed like that forever.
The inexplicable pain of waiting... waiting for something which might cease to exist in the very beginning has returned back to torture my soul.
The world seems so unfriendly suddenly,
releasing that flicker of hope which I naively acknowlege,
that glimpse of heaven which I fervently seek,
only to plunge me down to the endless depth below later to befriend darkness.
Circumstances, although so different, becomes conspicuously, strikingly similar because of the terrible sensation of waiting... helplessly.
For I, hold no power, to decide the fate which is no longer mine.
I lack the conviction that all would be well in the end,
because circumstances have hardened the optimist,
because evidence has let down the idealist,
because really,
reality doesnt work the way miracles do, all the time.
But even though strongly aware,
my consciousness is unwilling,
somewhere deep down in the psyche,
the devil continues whispering, urging- There's hope there's hope.

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Do you know...
Hope is a cruel thing?

Tingwei jumped at 11:22 pm

26 Jan 2009

1)Went Henderson Wave Bridge watch sunset with wj.
Now I keep thinking of it.
I want lie there, sing songs and watch sunset with you.

Because
You make every experience such a wonderful one (:

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2) My pet crab died under my care ):
I only had it as a pet for one day. Man.
Didnt even had the chance to feed it food...
Anyway I think it died with its baby.
(Yes, I think it was giving birth)
This is so saddening ):

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3) Decided to go back Xinmin for homecoming this year with Donovan.
Haha Im supporting my bro's booth (beams)
He must be so touched! :O

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4) Sister's scared of the Killer clown cos she's been reading mr midnight.
Its a tough job keeping her calm these few days. ugh.
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5) Hello CNY!
Happy niu year to everyone!
And now I'm going photoshoot.
Haha Credits go to Melvin (:

Tingwei jumped at 4:32 pm

21 Jan 2009

Recently...
1) Bought CNY's clothes at Bugis. More than contented with the pieces.

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2) Washed Daddy's car for the first time today! Daddy said I cld be a car
washer given my skills.Yay.

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3) Teaching my bro english is reaally FUN because he knows how to
appreciate my compositions. Hey bro listen up. You've got the first
step to reaching your distinction right- The ability to appreciate great
works. Oops.

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4) I proved myself a worrywart over him. He dint ignore me. He's just
very busy and I'm just very free. And at last, stupid me'd started to
grasp this concept. Anyway, much as I dont want the initial feeling to
fade away, now I begin to wonder if its just an 'impulse' infatuation
which would slowly fade away as time goes tick tock.
Whatever.
Time will tell.

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5) Holidays is coming to an end. (Like finally, after what seemed eternity)
Ok, I admit i dont have patience. Cant wait to start schooling agaaain.
Hope I can get into vj. Hope luck stays with me this time. Sigh, must I
always be a luck-repellent? ):

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6) Jalynn Pei Jia Ying, my sis's P2 classmate has somehow formed an
uncanny liking to me and likes (too much) to stick with me. (And hell,
yes, she's the owner of the 30 missed calls and the calls are still
coming strong) I dont mind anyth bout her except the calls cos she's
really really (And did I mention, really? ) cute.

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7) I've made 3 friends this month/year, Shen Hao, Bon Koh and
WeiChen. And I'm wondering how many more close friends I can
afford to make. Or lose.

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8) Ending my post with a piece of advice for all:
You can't buy love, yet you can pay heavily for it.
I've seen so many alr...

Tingwei jumped at 9:36 pm

19 Jan 2009

NEVER never( and I repeat NEVER) give your handphone number to a primary school kid.
Ahhhh. Gee.This is smth I must learn from now on.
Today I had 30 missed calls from my sis's p2 friend.
=_____________________________=
I super regret giving her my handphone number la.
(Big sigh)
Why doesnt she stop trying to get me on the phone?
Even when I called back (twice) to tell her I'm busy and msged her a couple of times too.
My gosh.
Help?
I think I'd better switch off my phone /:

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Oh anyway I just found out that theres a 405 outing on 29th too, and it clashes with my 6 faith gathering.
Gee.
Dates like to clash, dont they? Heh.
405 shall have their fun, I shall miss out the fun there and kinda get some fun back by going to faith's gathering.
Maaaaan.
I cant have it both ways.
We all cant, at some time or another...
Dont you agree? (:

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I shld reaally have some patience,
and play it cool like you.
But it gets very irritating sometimes...
because you know you can get it if you wanted it by not waiting.
But you choose to wait.
Because then, you will be seen as the obvious winner.
But the title comes with a price.
like everything else.
Everything comes with a price.
Wait and wait and wait like its never-ending.
And maybe it is.
Its karma its karma I know it.
Karma's gnna come back someday.

Tingwei jumped at 9:50 pm

17 Jan 2009

Whooooooooo-
I had so much fun today.
Met my 6 faith classmates and theyre so lovable.
Awww.
Went for breakfast at KFC then caught a movie.
These guys are awesome maaan.
Cant wait for 29th jan! When we meet again...
I'll get someone to accompany there then.
Any guys interested?
My handsome friend Koh Bon? Heh.

Tingwei jumped at 9:36 pm

15 Jan 2009

Choices really suck. But I guess having no choice is just as sucky.
(Not that I have a choice to choose IF I had a choice anyway.)
But seriously! I hate myself for being so indecisive. ugh ugh ugh.
I feel I should just go for National JC-First choice.
Victoria is such a risk, my heart wont be able to take it :/
Daddy said NJC is an 'ulu ulu' place but when I got there, I realised that its an acceptable environment and... much to my surprise... I like it.
SO..
National JC it is.
Just let me get into it successfully.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

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You wont need hope if you have faith.
Too bad I dont have faith /:

Tingwei jumped at 7:07 pm

12 Jan 2009

O level results are out.
My L1R5 is 5 after deduction.
RAWRRRRRRRR.
It should be better :/

Tingwei jumped at 10:49 pm